Here are some often overlooked, important facts to consider when comparing prices and shopping for the services of your wedding officiate.

Ultimately, this person provides you the service that your entire day comes down to - seeing to it that you become man and wife.  While so many times left until the last minute or not considered strongly enough - so it deserves planning, serious thought of what you want in a ceremony and consideration of the person you will be working with not only on your special day, but the weeks leading up to your wedding for planning the perfect ceremony that will announce you to the world as a married couple!

Lets face it... You'll try on what seems like 100 different dresses, interview many photographers, DJs, taste dozens of cakes and food samples and take the time to carefully select so many other vendors.  It is equally important that you take the time to carefully choose an officiate as well.  He or she must be not just a warm body with the same scripted ceremony used for lots of weddings, but a person that you can connect with emotionally, spiritually, personally... simply to trust and to feel comfortable with to be creative enough to make your ceremony special for your special day - created JUST for the two of you, designed around each of you, and reflective of your relationship.

There is no greater compliment than being stopped by YOUR guests and told - "I've been to dozens of weddings, and I have NEVER heard a ceremony as unique as yours - it was a perfect reflection of the couple!" 

Or, to be told by so many guests - "I know the ceremony was intended for the couple today, but your words touched the hearts of every couple in the audience and reminded us ALL of what true love means - THANK YOU for re-energizing our own vows vicariously through this couple today!"

So take a little extra time to find the PERFECT officiate for your wedding day.  Can she bring you and your guests to tears of joy?  Can she incorporate a sense of humor with a little stress-breaking giggle?  Can she make each of your guests feel like they are an essential part of your ceremony?  While cost is always a factor - consider the the end result.  Reflecting back on your vows every passing year with fond memories of a beautiful ceremony and the reminder of the commitment you share is worth it's weight in silver and gold! 

Best wishes on your journey together!

Writing your own vows

Your up coming wedding is a very special event in your life.  The day dreamed of, one which honors your relationship.

Because your love for each other is special and unique you may want to say more than I do. You may want to capture the meaning of your relationship by putting into your words for each other on your special day that you both will remember for a life time.

The time line I suggest to start to put this together is 6 month out from your ceremony and to have a finished product and handed into your officient 6 weeks before your ceremony for her/his approval.

 I would suggest you contact your officient to ask for copies of vows to read over.  This will help in several ways.  You could cut and paste from them of words and sentences you like.  Sometimes one or the other of you are not as creative at coming up with their own words but when they see others words, they know that is the words they feel.

You may want to work on these vows together I suggest you do this so that there are no surprises at the ceremony. And it can be a wonderful time together of romance and getting to know each other.

There are a lot of vows on the internet now, that you can use in there entirety or again cut and paste. Again use them to get your own creative juices flowing.

Do not make them to long. 75 to 100 are best. Short sentences are best. 10 to 15.  It is a very stress full time and long vows make it even more so.

 Do not use big words or try and be funny often times this comes off as not funny to the other person. It is often times hurtful and others do not understand.

I suggest you give a copy of the vows to your officient even you want to memorize them -stress- again can do things to a person. Put them on 3x5 cards and have your officient give them to you at the time you are to say your vows.

You could have the officiant start by saying "Ken would you please make these vows of commitment to Kay". I like the groom to go first then the bride.

I like starting with saying your name "I Kay choose you Ken to be my wedded husband" It firms it up nicely what you are doing and who is doing it, then you can go into what you want from there.

I like to end with, "as long as we both shall live." Or " For the rest of our lives" Or "Side by side step by step may our great journey begin here now from this day forward."

But those are just examples.